- me: [gently touches the sleeping cat]
- cat: [makes a tiny cat noise]
- me: ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh nooooooooooooooooooooooooo ohh noo ohhhhh nooooooo oh no oh nooooo oh my god oh noooo
i remember until i was ten, i spelt ‘satin’ like ‘satan’ and i went to a christian school and they called my parents because i wrote ‘satan is soft like a bunny’ and they wanted the priest to talk to me
Satan is glad you appreciate the effort.
Satan uses Garnier Fructis to lock in moisture.
I JUST LOST MY SHIT
- Woman: *on cellphone* Why am I leaving you? Why am I--I'll tell you why.
- Woman: Here's why. You don't respect me.
- Woman: You called me a whore in front of my children.
- Me: *says nothing, but has a face like O.O*
- Woman: You don't respect me. And you know, there some white chick here in the store, she walking, she heard me say that and she make a face.
- Woman: Because even she know you a piece of shit.